Joy Nail & Spa on Bay Ridge Avenue in Brooklyn is a little overdoing it with Joy in their title. If you want to ask my vagina’s opinion anyway. Maybe Bologna Sandwich Satisfaction Nail & Spa would have been more on point.It was a very low key joint that sported a brown leather sofa akin to one in perhaps a car service. Chinese pop music played overhead. I Shazam-ed it.
The partition room was papered with a mishmash of different floral wallpapers. Collage enthusiasts. Also, there was wax splattered all over these walls. A slaughterhouse/battle scars of other wars fought for the crown of hairless-ness affect.
She was a juxtaposition of a gentle demeanor & surprise commentary. But I don’t want to give away the ending. Come to think of it though, spoiler alert, that’s where the Joy is found. She gestured w/her words-“you want all off.” For some reason I have yet to come to an answer on she had me hold a paper towel against my belly. There were various standard holds on the goods as her gloveless hands went to work.
She let me know I was, “hurt a little bit” at one point and I assured her it was ok. She proceeded to give me a hand mirror & ask “do I want inner done.” 1) Of course I do. Why else am I laying here junk to the sky? 2) I don’t like to see work before it’s finished. A memory of the dentist showing me my post drilled pre filled tooth came to mind. Spare me.
So after I told her to proceed & I didn’t scream she told me, “very good.” She was not going to do backside but this time I requested it with a sort of flipping sign language. My ass was not going to stand being left out of the party 2x in a row.
The grand finale-out comes the hand mirror again. She has me look at my goods & with the enthusiasm a child had opening a long hoped for Christmas present from the 1988 Sears Wish Book, she told me, “You’re so beautiful!!!!” It’s nice to be complimented.
She handed me a towel with a spray on it that felt like acid rain. She recognized my discomfort & then handed me baby oil. My ass was stuck together for hrs after & my vagina was red for 2 days. Naturally there was razor touch ups to be made. Always expect to be disappointed. Of course, the whole beautification came to only $25 before tip. If that’s the beautiful price what do I have to cough up for breathtakingly stunning?
Update: As of June 2017 this place is now closed